Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Little Boy Lost
Friday, December 28, 2012
Postpartum Depression vs Postpartum Psychosis; 1, 2, 3, 4, - I declare... War?
Are We Battling for Our Place; Our Voice?
In my longstanding pursuit of wanting to not only have a voice myself, but to enable others to have a voice in similar circumstances as well, it seems we have (and by "we" I mean 'me') inadvertently stepped on some toes. It's often difficult to be heard unless you shout in this busy world of everyone talking over everyone else. ...
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Natachia Barlow Ramsey - Contact Information
I am Natachia Barlow Ramsey. In 1999 I went undiagnosed with Severe Postpartum Depression with Psychotic Features (Postpartum Psychosis). Not only did I lose my mind; I lost my son.
I was tried for the death of my son, Was found Not Criminally Responsible. I Spent years in the mental health system while fighting for my daughter who'd been taken into DHHS custody. After 13+ years, I finally feel ready to have a voice and speak not only on behalf of myself, but for other women like myself.
I finally feel ready...
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Nightmares: Wicked and Visceral
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Postpartum Psychosis; A Survivors Story: Blackmail, Grief, Guilt, Sensationalism and Finally a Media Award?
Friday, November 16, 2012
Down the Rabbit Hole
I survived Postpartum Psychosis, my Son did not...
In March of 1999 I had just turned 25 and was about to give birth to my second child. My daughter was turning 6 later that month as well so there should have been a lot of celebrating to do. I went a week and a half past my due date, and my son was born on March 11th at 11:10pm; Hunter Macarthy Ramsey.
Although I was excited, exhausted and not feeling quite right, little did I know a month later my little boy would be dead and I would be committed to the Augusta Mental Health Institute; responsible for his death.
...Natachia Barlow Ramsey's Story; Surviving Postpartum Psychosis ~ Down the Rabbit Hole ~
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
One Night in Bangkok...
Reminding myself this isn't exactly Thailand
I have times when I want to do something almost to prove to myself I am alive. Like jumping off a bridge into the ocean. I know it's not actually necessary, but on occasion I have that urge. It's probably similar to the urge I describe below about screaming Fuck You and wanting to Punch People in the Face. Those last two don't sound very ladylike...
Some days I just want to scream Fuck You to the world. There are days when I want to punch people in the face. There are times when I have wondered if this is my reincarnated life as punishment of a past life and I was something truly awful.
I don't have those moments very often. But on occasion when it feels like everything is just bearing it's weight down on me. I am perhaps just one kind voice away from shedding a bucket full of tears (cue the tears now as I type). I have those thoughts.
I have times when I think I just want to go and find some peace and solace. Other times when I just want the company of the unknown stranger who knows nothing about me and to find comfort in their arms. I know it's short lived. So, I have basically sworn off real dating for now. I'm actually supposed to have a date (I have signed up for those dating websites, all the free ones anyway). I usually get as far as a few email responses and I'll either stop communicating or never follow through with the date.
The idea of introducing someone to my past is exhausting. [Oh that date is supposed
Read more here:
~ Natachia Barlow Ramsey's Story; Surviving Postpartum Psychosis ~ One Night in Bangkok ~
Saturday, November 10, 2012
The Walking Dead, Zombie Shuffle
Zombie Shuffle
A woman I have been talking and corresponding with recently said the experience of being in the Psychiatric Hospital seemed as traumatic as the Postpartum Psychosis Episode itself. I myself have often reflected on that and felt similar. The things you experience inside a mental health facility can be very scary, especially if you are there as a forensic patient and are doing your 'time' vs just being there until you are better.
Monday, November 5, 2012
A Story of Severe Postpartum Depression with Psychotic Features
Tragedies, Trauma, Disasters. What's the common thread?
Unfortunately, these are all the things that in most circumstances have to occur in order for change to happen. Why? Because when things appear to be going along swimmingly, nobody sees a need for change. So, let's take a look shall we? I can't imagine anyone not wanting to discover the new mother has 1) Killed Herself, 2) Killed her Child(ren), 3) Killed herself and her Child(ren)
We've been making progress with issues on Postpartum, but change takes time. It doesn't happen overnight or even over one generation. It takes a movement of people joining together.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Snot, Diarrhea, Chicken Bones...
I spy with my little eye
My sister can't eat chicken on a bone. I remember when I was younger that used to gross me out too. I always wanted boneless chicken, and especially wings. All those slimy little wings with the little bones and tendons. Yuck, made my stomach turn.
Then, I was put in a Mental Hospital and saw feces smeared on the bathoom stall...
I remember during my stay in 1999 there were these old metal lockers where the patients kept their cigarettes and lighters. When there was a smoke break, the patients would line up and the worker would open up each locker and each patient could get their cigarettes. One patient didn't want to lose his place in line because if you missed the opening of the lockers and the exiting of being out in the "yard" (it was a large cage attached to one of the doors so no one could escape, although I watched many try and a few actually scale it) you would miss that smoke break. Well, he proceeded to blow his nose into his hands and wipe them onto the lockers. Which wouldn't all come off immediately, and just kind of smeared
Read the rest here:
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sensationalism at its best...
Death, Grief and Guilt...
In 2005, when I was getting custody back of my daughter, someone made an anonymous call to the Kennebec Journal and said; "You want to write a story about a child killer who's getting her daughter back?".
Well that prompted a series of phone calls to my attorney John Pelletier (who I have to say is one of my favorite people in the world and puts to shame all the lawyer jokes) and a month long process of negotiations with family court and the KJ about an interview. Needless to say, we granted the interview (which felt incredibly close to blackmail) in exchange for privacy for my daughter and I moved just prior to the article being published. Since it's available for everyone to read anyway, but in an out of context and unexplained narrative. I thought this would be the best place for the article to be seen. Since most of what is being made available is not being made available in its entire context.
So below are the two articles that appeared on April 11, 2005 (I always wondered if it were purposeful it was published the same day as Hunter died) The first was a sidebar beside the main article, explaining that I did not want to give an interview and had been coerced into it. I always thought it nice of them to at least mention that. Gary Remal interviewed me with my Attorney (John) present over the course of four hours. Below is the basic result.
Oh Wait, the really big kicker? It won a National Media Award from National Mental Health Association (now Mental Health America) the Following Year. I'm going to add that onto the end, but I'm also going to give it its own post. That was a really nice ending to such a crappy beginning.
~~~
Kennebec Journal (Augusta, ME)
April 11, 2005
| |
Section: Local & State
Page: 1A |
Read more here...
.. ~ Natachia Barlow Ramsey's Story; Surviving Postpartum Psychosis ~ Sensationalism at it's best ~